Comments on: FU Report – Long Weekend in Austin (Part 2) http://www.hammer86blog.com/2009/07/22/fu-report-long-weekend-in-austin-part-2/ We are men in 2010 Mon, 05 Sep 2011 06:58:23 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Hmmm http://www.hammer86blog.com/2009/07/22/fu-report-long-weekend-in-austin-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-243 Hmmm Fri, 31 Jul 2009 16:29:57 +0000 http://hammer86blog.com/?p=202#comment-243 There are plenty of ways to be vulnerable, and sex doesn't need to be first on the list. You're questioning my ego while referring to dating you -- which based on your blog doesn't even consist of dating, it only consists of failed hookup attempts -- as "playing in the big leagues"? Hahaha would you tell that to any of these women that you're trying to "play"? I've also found that sex improves as I get to know someone. Maybe you are into more exotic forms of sex and get off on the objective experience rather than the connection with your partner. I'm just not programmed that way, and I'm not convinced most women are. I have no idea what you mean with your pilgrim analogy. And I'm not sure what any of this has to do suggesting you should settle. If you're just looking for sex partners, your approach makes sense, but I'm looking for a lot more than just that. If I bought into your approach, I would feel like I was settling for the first hot guy who wanted to bang me without knowing much more about him than whether or not we have a physical connection. Lack of a sexual connection is a dealbreaker, but a great sexual connection is not nearly sufficient for me to have a relationship. Most guys with your mentality are pretty thinly veiled about it. So, they're easy to weed out. I just wish there were fewer of them in Manhattan because I get tired of dealing with it. There are plenty of ways to be vulnerable, and sex doesn’t need to be first on the list.

You’re questioning my ego while referring to dating you — which based on your blog doesn’t even consist of dating, it only consists of failed hookup attempts — as “playing in the big leagues”? Hahaha would you tell that to any of these women that you’re trying to “play”?

I’ve also found that sex improves as I get to know someone. Maybe you are into more exotic forms of sex and get off on the objective experience rather than the connection with your partner. I’m just not programmed that way, and I’m not convinced most women are.

I have no idea what you mean with your pilgrim analogy. And I’m not sure what any of this has to do suggesting you should settle. If you’re just looking for sex partners, your approach makes sense, but I’m looking for a lot more than just that. If I bought into your approach, I would feel like I was settling for the first hot guy who wanted to bang me without knowing much more about him than whether or not we have a physical connection. Lack of a sexual connection is a dealbreaker, but a great sexual connection is not nearly sufficient for me to have a relationship.

Most guys with your mentality are pretty thinly veiled about it. So, they’re easy to weed out. I just wish there were fewer of them in Manhattan because I get tired of dealing with it.

]]> By: Hammer http://www.hammer86blog.com/2009/07/22/fu-report-long-weekend-in-austin-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-242 Hammer Fri, 31 Jul 2009 14:28:23 +0000 http://hammer86blog.com/?p=202#comment-242 No, that attitude does come from a place of low self esteem and a need for validation. A more secure person would be able to let herself be vulnerable to someone without risking her own ego. That's totally fine that you're not interested in dating someone like me; I'm not interested in being every woman's dream man; I'm trying to date an elite 0.1% of women, and the sooner I screen a potential mate out the better. I always use the baseball analogy that dating me is playing in the big leagues, but most women are not ready for the big leagues and are better off in the minors. For me it's much more expensive (both emotionally and from a time cost perspective) to develop a deep intimacy with someone only to realize that they're fucking amateur in the bedroom.Last I checked, I don't have a buckle on my hat, which is how I know that I'm not pilgrim, so why would you expect me to settle? No, that attitude does come from a place of low self esteem and a need for validation. A more secure person would be able to let herself be vulnerable to someone without risking her own ego.

That’s totally fine that you’re not interested in dating someone like me; I’m not interested in being every woman’s dream man; I’m trying to date an elite 0.1% of women, and the sooner I screen a potential mate out the better. I always use the baseball analogy that dating me is playing in the big leagues, but most women are not ready for the big leagues and are better off in the minors.

For me it’s much more expensive (both emotionally and from a time cost perspective) to develop a deep intimacy with someone only to realize that they’re fucking amateur in the bedroom.Last I checked, I don’t have a buckle on my hat, which is how I know that I’m not pilgrim, so why would you expect me to settle?

]]> By: Hmmm http://www.hammer86blog.com/2009/07/22/fu-report-long-weekend-in-austin-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-241 Hmmm Fri, 31 Jul 2009 02:58:22 +0000 http://hammer86blog.com/?p=202#comment-241 The fact that your primary goal is to "score". I don't have a moral problem with casual sex per se, and I've had a handful of one night stands and other casual encounters. But what I've learned from those experiences is that when I have sex with someone it makes me feel emotionally connected to him. Casual sex is too emotionally -- and potentially physically due to STD risk -- "expensive" for me. It feels like a shallow experience. This has nothing to do with security and/or sexual empowerment. It does, however, mean that I would not be interested in dating someone who takes your approach. I need to develop trust in someone before I can be legitimately interested in having a sexual relationship with him. Anyway, good luck. I hope you find what you're looking for. The fact that your primary goal is to “score”. I don’t have a moral problem with casual sex per se, and I’ve had a handful of one night stands and other casual encounters. But what I’ve learned from those experiences is that when I have sex with someone it makes me feel emotionally connected to him. Casual sex is too emotionally — and potentially physically due to STD risk — “expensive” for me. It feels like a shallow experience. This has nothing to do with security and/or sexual empowerment. It does, however, mean that I would not be interested in dating someone who takes your approach. I need to develop trust in someone before I can be legitimately interested in having a sexual relationship with him.

Anyway, good luck. I hope you find what you’re looking for.

]]> By: Hammer http://www.hammer86blog.com/2009/07/22/fu-report-long-weekend-in-austin-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-240 Hammer Thu, 30 Jul 2009 16:01:37 +0000 http://hammer86blog.com/?p=202#comment-240 What's wrong with my attitude? The fact that I like secure and sexually empowered women who aren't afraid to do things that they want to do and don't care what other people think of them? What’s wrong with my attitude? The fact that I like secure and sexually empowered women who aren’t afraid to do things that they want to do and don’t care what other people think of them?

]]> By: Hmmm http://www.hammer86blog.com/2009/07/22/fu-report-long-weekend-in-austin-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-239 Hmmm Thu, 30 Jul 2009 13:04:07 +0000 http://hammer86blog.com/?p=202#comment-239 I find your attitude kind of gross, but I think it's hilarious that after reading about six or seven blog posts about how hard you are trying to make every encounter about finding sex, you never seem to succeed! Maybe you should try making an actual connection first. I wish fewer guys had your attitude because it would make online dating a lot less exhausting for women like me. I find your attitude kind of gross, but I think it’s hilarious that after reading about six or seven blog posts about how hard you are trying to make every encounter about finding sex, you never seem to succeed! Maybe you should try making an actual connection first.

I wish fewer guys had your attitude because it would make online dating a lot less exhausting for women like me.

]]> By: Lance http://www.hammer86blog.com/2009/07/22/fu-report-long-weekend-in-austin-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-238 Lance Sat, 25 Jul 2009 02:24:00 +0000 http://hammer86blog.com/?p=202#comment-238 Dude, I really want to know what the deal is with the house. I'll ask you next time over IM. Dude, I really want to know what the deal is with the house. I’ll ask you next time over IM.

]]>