Being that I live in New York City, it is rare for me to date a girl with no game. The girls I date (as in actually see regularly, compared to just fucking a girl once or twice) are generally in the top 10% of looks and as a result have a ton of experience dealing with guys. Also, based on the type of personality that I find attractive, that sassiness just generally seems to carry over to her game. This is why it was so odd for me to deal with this girl who has absolutely zero girl game last night after the Super Bowl.
Just to go through the quick background on this girl, I met her out a couple of weeks ago at a bar I’ve been frequenting lately. Opened her direct almost immediately as she came into my field of view, and eventually got her number later in the evening after trying to game her cute friend for about half of the night despite having initially being drawn to her. We texted back and forth a couple of times, but she also ignored a couple of my texts in between, so I wasn’t really sure where I stood until I ran into her at the same bar on Friday night and hung out with her for a couple of hours, made out with her a lot and seeded our post Super Bowl date.
The thing is, this girl is green. Really green. She’s from a small town in Ohio, and goes to a small school in an even smaller town in Ohio. She was in a relationship all through high school and has had a boyfriend for two years in college (the only guy she’s ever slept with). Got to the city three weeks ago for a semester here, and has been working like crazy between an internship with a really popular TV show and a couple of other part time jobs in the evenings. As a result of this lack of experience, she has absolutely no game. It’s kind of weird because since I have a very high octane game designed for high octane girls, it’s almost like my game is too powerful and I feel a little manipulative in using it. It’s the same kind of feeling you get when you realize that the girl that you’re kicking it to is only being as responsive as she is because she’s hammered beyond belief and probably won’t remember your conversation the next day.
I happen to actually really like this girl. She’s really fun and positive, and generally very interesting despite her lack of game. I want to keep her around for the duration of her stay in the city, hopefully seamlessly integrating her into rotation without too much of a problem, but at the same time I want to make sure that I don’t fuck her up emotionally. I had her in my bed last night making out with me, yet I didn’t sleep with her. Granted, she wasn’t down to sleep with me yet, but a simple application of some kung fu penis and I would have been inside her without issue. And the decision to not KFP was not one of those “it slipped my mind” moments; when I brought her into my room I had every intention of KFPing. It was actually a game time decision based on me not wanting to ruin her for other men. When a guy like me gives up a lay that is on a silver platter with a cute girl who he actually likes, it’s worth investigating further.
We had a fun little date last night. I had her meet me at 9:30 in my lobby, which she objected to first, but when I explained that it was because I had people over for the Super Bowl and we’d go out for a drink afterword she agreed. I actually thought that my argument was pretty logical, but given her initial hesitation because she didn’t want me to think of her “that way,” I was still surprised when she agreed without any further objection (I later found out that her roommate fed her the initial objection). I was even more surprised when without hesitation she came upstairs (game hadn’t ended yet) without blinking an eye. After the game we went out to a nearby bar that I like to take dates to because it has board games that can be borrowed, and as we were talking I started to realize that she really had no game. She was accepting every frame I was throwing at her, from the simple non-judgmental and discreet frames to the more aggressive ones like casual sex can be empowering and bisexuality. She was trying really hard to impress me in the conversation, like the way that an AFC would sound in talking to a hot girl. I could see her falling in love with me before my eyes and that was not okay!
So now the question is will the alterations that I made to my game serve their intended purpose, or will they just result in me blowing it with a girl who I really like? Or worse, what if the alterations in my game do nothing and I end up fucking her up for other men anyway? So I ask you guys, what do you think of gaming girls with no game?
Jennifer
Have you considered NOT playing her? If you know you like her and she is easy to manipulate, why are you doing it? I just can’t get my head round this ..
Hammer
Twitter: hammer86
I don’t really understand what you mean by not playing her. If I know I like her, why would I cut her out of my life? And if I’m talking to her, how can I not “play her?” Game has been deeply integrated into my personality through years of practice, it’s not some kind of conscious choice that has an on/off switch.
Jennifer
So even when you hang out with your mates/ girls who are just normal friends, you neg, frame etc. ???
And are you saying that you have developed a personality which only works for dating/ picking up girls, but not for long term relationships (and don’t say that making someone chase you is going to work forever..)?
Hammer
Twitter: hammer86
I absolutely tease everyone in my life, especially my friends. That’s the whole point of teasing, it’s quick intimacy. People who aren’t close generally don’t bust on each other.
You clearly don’t understand what game is on a fundamental level or why it works. And yes, you do have to keep being the same attractive man in a long term relationship as you were in the initial pickup, that’s just called being honest.
Thundercat
Actually, I think Jennifer is right to an extent, bro. Being from a small town in Ohio myself, I know where this girl is coming from. It sounds like she genuinely likes you from your post, and if that’s the case, you don’t need to be running hard game on her like you’re doing.
I agree that you need to be consistent with who you are, but at a certain point with a chick, especially one you like and who you’re in a relationship with, you need to relax and just rely on the comfort and trust you’ve built up with her to carry you through the long term.
It sounds like you typically go for high-maintenance women who need that type of game you’re talking about (girls with game? i guess?). We got those types here in LA too. But we also got normal girls, like the one you’re going after, and I personally prefer those because you can actually have meaningful relationships with them.
If you were just going for a “hit it and quit it” mentality, then your regular game would probably work. But I think you know that because you like this girl and she is different, you need to dial it back a bit. I think if you built up the emotional connection with this girl she would want to go all the way with you.
Good luck!
Hammer
Twitter: hammer86
Yea, I did dial it back as I said in the post, but this girl kind of continues to show more and more signs of falling in love with me. I’m totally honest with her about what’s what, so it’s on her if she gets hurt, but we’ll see how things go.