Hey Guys,

Something weird happened to me the last two weekends that I wanted to share here today: I’m making out with a girl in a bar, when out of nowhere she decides it would be a good idea to bite my lower lip. Now when I say “bite,” I’m not talking about a little playful nibble. Both of these girls full out bit my lip to the point of actual pain. Is this some kind of awful trend that I need to be worried about brought on by some chick flick or CW show?

Two weekends ago, I was out with a couple of buddies at this lounge on the upper east side. My buddy who brought me there goes to parties hosted by these guys a lot, so I figured I’d check it out and see how it went. I was actually having kind of a shitty time because all of the girls in there were nannies from Europe and spoke very little English. There was also something very odd going on with the promoters, where if a girl was seen talking to a guy too long she would get ostracized from the group or something. I did meet one girl who actually seemed really cool though, so I talked to her for a bit then got her number before she had to join her friends (see: not be judged by jerk-off promoters).

Later in the night, the promoters bounced everyone to another shitty location down in the flatiron district. I took this opportunity to regain the attention of the girl I had met earlier and we sat down on a couch and talked for a while. She seemed really cool and the conversation was going well, so we started making out. She was a kind of horrible kisser, but at this point there wasn’t much else in the venue so I figured I’d just fix her or whatever and eventually get the bang because very hot either way. We stand up and start dancing and making out again, when she decides it would be a good idea to bite my lower lip really hard. She only did it the one time but the damage was done and while I was still interested in trying to fuck her, she was completely ruled out as anything more than a one night stand. Over the course of the rest of the night, she proceeded to make me progressively less interested until I eventually just had an “I’m better than this” moment and decided she didn’t deserve my dick.

Cut to this week, I’m at one of my favorite spots on the lower east side doing my thing. I start talking to this girl who is not exactly my type but was still quite hot and seemed like she would be amazing in bed. We’re talking a little and being very physical, and it’s pretty clear that this girl is attracted to me. We make out some, and then she bites my lip and makes it bleed a little. It was bleeding on the inside so it didn’t look bad, but I could taste the blood and feel the wound a little bit so I was pissed off. Night ruined.

Looking back, I think that she was into some kind of forced submission fantasy and was trying to taunt me into taking that role. I’ll play that game to a point, but on some point I lose interest and attraction. For example, we’re talking and she tells me that she is going to find her friend and asks me to come with her, but then when I do she completely ignores me and doesn’t even introduce me. Later, when she comes and finds me again, we talk for a bit before she tries to get me to chase her onto the dance floor. I go with her to the dance floor, but then she starts hiding behind people and grabbing people and pushing them between us. Very weird. In both scenarios I basically played it aloof and walked right over to another girl and started talking to her.

Sorry ladies, but I am too busy to be dealing with bullshit from you. If you want the dick, you have to earn it. If you’re hot, it doesn’t take very much, but if you’re not willing to play the game with me, I’d rather just crank one out.

Posted on Monday, February 22nd, 2010 at 11:39 am