Had a date scheduled for this evening, but she cancelled on me this morning. In hindsight I’m kind of glad she did though, because after the resulting text message conversation, it seems pretty on. My text game is tight like Mack Tight, so any opportunity to escalate via text is going to work in my favor. Anyway, thought I’d post the conversation for future reference.

Little background, this is a girl from Match.com, and it would have been a first date. I sent her one email (one of these new VIP emails) with a new template I’ve been testing that is designed specifically for sassy girls who are my type. She emailed me back the next morning, and I emailed her back later that day asking for her number. This was a Monday, and she emailed me her number on Thursday of that week. Of course, for whatever reason the Match.com email didn’t come to my inbox, and I didn’t log into the site again until the next Monday. I texted her and didn’t hear back a few times, then on Sunday I sent her the text, “You know, if I didn’t have such a ridiculously overinflated ego I might take your lack of response the wrong way .” She got back, and we texted back and forth a little before setting up Wednesday’s date. So as a recap, never met, ignored a few texts, finally responded and set up a date. Then flake.

Hammer: Hey you, just wanted to confirm tomorrow night at 8 (sent around 11pm last night)

HB: Hey! I’m SO sorry to do this but the lady I babysit for on occasion called me in a panic just now & I couldn’t say no..can we reschedule for later this week??

Hammer: Lol it’s okay, panicked mothers take priority! When would be good for you?

HB: Maybe tomorrow? I’ll figure it out and get back to you in just a bit thanks for understanding!!

Hammer: Don’t worry about it. I’m sure I can get my deposit back on the space shuttle I rented. Tom might work, I have a few appts to see apartments but thats earlier

HB: Hahaha dam I ruined such a great surprise!

Hammer: No im actually relieved. It would have been so embarrassing if I failed the physical and you had passed. I’ve been losing sleep over it all week!

HB: I’m fairly confident we could’ve paid nasa off if you didn’t pass..that’s how all the great astronauts got their start..nasa is quick to accepting “donations”

Hammer: Or sexual favors, that space shuttle is pretty phallic, Im sure they’re all pervs. Too bad I’m saving myself for Jesus

HB: Hahaha you make a very good point..on both accounts

Hammer: You’re trouble. Now you have my mind going o ll kinds of bad places and it’s distracting me from my work! If I weren’t an atheist I’d totally go to confession

HB: I’ll just go to confession for the both of us..2 birds with one stone sorta deal and we’re all set

Hammer: I have a feeling you and I are going to get along. Let me know about tomorrow

HB: Definitely