Remember the MTV show Next? It was definitely one of my favorite reality/dating tv shows of all time. Remember watching that show and thinking to yourself how you would handle yourself if you were in that situation? How you would try to game the girl if you came off the bus? How you would qualify the girls if they were the ones on the bus? I think that for a lot of women, particularly those that online date, I’ve always kind of believed their life is kind of like an episode of Next. Lately, mine certainly has been.
My online game is super dialed in. There is this ridiculous synergy right now between my profile, my pictures, and my email templates. I’m getting a ton of responses these days, and basically have more numbers than I know what to do with. I’m even getting responses from women telling me explicitly that they do not think we are a match, and giving a reason why like that I’m too high energy or overwhelming or whatever. The implication is that they recognize that I am a high value man that many women will like, but I just happen to not be their type. Very interesting stuff.
I’ve been consistently going on 4 dates a week, at least two of which have been consistently new, and one or two of which have been second or later dates. I haven’t sent out new emails in over two weeks now, and can still fill up my schedule at will. When I say fill at will, I mean literally, Monday through Sunday, working around girls schedules. Now obviously I don’t do that, I would drive myself into an early grave with that degree of sleep deprivation, but I’ve done Monday through Friday, and I’ve done Sunday through Tuesday with other plans on Wednesday and Thursday and Friday as well. Needless to say, I’ve basically stopped going out on the weekends. The two or three times I have gone out on the weekend in the last two months, I’ve consistently gotten numbers that turned into dates and/or pulled too, so it’s not even a matter of using online dating as a crutch, I just prefer it.
The reason for my delinquency, other than the obvious “I can” factor, is that I am pretty much determined at this point to get a really awesome girlfriend, at least for the summer. It’s been a couple of years since I’ve had a girlfriend, and I’m sort of ready for that again. I did have a quasi summer girlfriend last year, but she was really not up to par so it never got more serious than her being my primary in a multiple relationships scenario. I haven’t had condom free sex since though, and I miss that.
From this experience, I’ve gleaned some new insight into online dating, and women in general, insight that I will share with you now:
- Women don’t give a shit if you live with your parents as long as you own it. I suppose it’s possible that I might have even better success if I had my own place, but I have yet to detect any noticeable impact of telling a girl I live with my mom and sister on the progress of that seduction. I think that there is definitely value in having your own place from a self esteem perspective, particularly for new guys, but this is just further evidence that if it doesn’t bother you, it won’t bother her. Period.
- Dating sites stack the deck in favor of successful men, making them even more successful. I have for a long time theorized that a small percentage of men on dating sites were doing on the vast majority of the dates, even more so than in real life. What never occurred to me, however, is that the online dating sites facilitate this. Sure, I knew that updating your profile or pictures gave you a little bit of an edge, they would preferentially display people with new info in their profiles over people with older info. But it’s definitely more than that. Since I’ve started getting this ridiculous level of success though, I’ve been getting way more winks, interests and unsolicited emails from women. One of the reasons I haven’t sent out new emails in a few weeks, in fact, is because I’ve had enough women initiating contact with me throughout the week that it would just be ridiculous to collect even more numbers. And we’re not just talking about one site. Match.com, OkCupid.com and PlentyofFish.com all seem to be preferentially displaying my profile to women; I suspect that it’s because I am getting more responses than other guys. On some level this makes sense. Hot women are the bottleneck for an online dating site, and the more hot women there are on a site, the more men there will be to date them. Presumably, if more women are responding to you, then you are a higher value man, and so more women will want to hear from you.
- Most women don’t actually go on a lot of online dates. Unless they were just lying to me, which I have no reason to believe is the case, for a high proportion of the women that I am going out with I am their first or second online date. Mind you, I am often going out with these girls two weeks after I’m getting their numbers, so they’ve had plenty of time to go out with other guys. They just haven’t for whatever reason. I think that in our society that stigma still exists to some extent around it, which is why it’s so important that if you’re online dating you just act totally comfortable with it.
- Most girls have really shitty game. They really don’t know how to get all of the body language right to really make a guy swoon for them. Since I’ve started this rampage, I have encountered 1, count them, 1 girl with good girl game. Even in her case though, she really fucked it up with me by refusing to kiss on the first date, despite sending all of the signals that she wanted it. I’m about 80% confident that she was a synthetic like me, not because there was anything she did that obviously suggested that to be the case, but because she was really just doing EVERYTHING right body language wise. That combined with her stunt at the end refusing to kiss because she doesn’t “do that on first dates” just screams game playing. I’m definitely going to see her again, but the probability of her getting past fuck buddy status is slim to none. Had she gone the opposite route and invited me back to her place rather than rejecting the kiss, she would have been on the fast track to girlfriendhood, potentially displacing the other 15 prospects I have within a matter of weeks.