Had a date scheduled for this evening, but she cancelled on me this morning. In hindsight I’m kind of glad she did though, because after the resulting text message conversation, it seems pretty on. My text game is tight like Mack Tight, so any opportunity to escalate via text is going to work in my favor. Anyway, thought I’d post the conversation for future reference.

Little background, this is a girl from Match.com, and it would have been a first date. I sent her one email (one of these new VIP emails) with a new template I’ve been testing that is designed specifically for sassy girls who are my type. She emailed me back the next morning, and I emailed her back later that day asking for her number. This was a Monday, and she emailed me her number on Thursday of that week. Of course, for whatever reason the Match.com email didn’t come to my inbox, and I didn’t log into the site again until the next Monday. I texted her and didn’t hear back a few times, then on Sunday I sent her the text, “You know, if I didn’t have such a ridiculously overinflated ego I might take your lack of response the wrong way .” She got back, and we texted back and forth a little before setting up Wednesday’s date. So as a recap, never met, ignored a few texts, finally responded and set up a date. Then flake.

Hammer: Hey you, just wanted to confirm tomorrow night at 8 (sent around 11pm last night)

HB: Hey! I’m SO sorry to do this but the lady I babysit for on occasion called me in a panic just now & I couldn’t say no..can we reschedule for later this week??

Hammer: Lol it’s okay, panicked mothers take priority! When would be good for you?

HB: Maybe tomorrow? I’ll figure it out and get back to you in just a bit thanks for understanding!!

Hammer: Don’t worry about it. I’m sure I can get my deposit back on the space shuttle I rented. Tom might work, I have a few appts to see apartments but thats earlier

HB: Hahaha dam I ruined such a great surprise!

Hammer: No im actually relieved. It would have been so embarrassing if I failed the physical and you had passed. I’ve been losing sleep over it all week!

HB: I’m fairly confident we could’ve paid nasa off if you didn’t pass..that’s how all the great astronauts got their start..nasa is quick to accepting “donations”

Hammer: Or sexual favors, that space shuttle is pretty phallic, Im sure they’re all pervs. Too bad I’m saving myself for Jesus

HB: Hahaha you make a very good point..on both accounts

Hammer: You’re trouble. Now you have my mind going o ll kinds of bad places and it’s distracting me from my work! If I weren’t an atheist I’d totally go to confession

HB: I’ll just go to confession for the both of us..2 birds with one stone sorta deal and we’re all set

Hammer: I have a feeling you and I are going to get along. Let me know about tomorrow

HB: Definitely



Hey Guys,

Something weird happened to me the last two weekends that I wanted to share here today: I’m making out with a girl in a bar, when out of nowhere she decides it would be a good idea to bite my lower lip. Now when I say “bite,” I’m not talking about a little playful nibble. Both of these girls full out bit my lip to the point of actual pain. Is this some kind of awful trend that I need to be worried about brought on by some chick flick or CW show?

Two weekends ago, I was out with a couple of buddies at this lounge on the upper east side. My buddy who brought me there goes to parties hosted by these guys a lot, so I figured I’d check it out and see how it went. I was actually having kind of a shitty time because all of the girls in there were nannies from Europe and spoke very little English. There was also something very odd going on with the promoters, where if a girl was seen talking to a guy too long she would get ostracized from the group or something. I did meet one girl who actually seemed really cool though, so I talked to her for a bit then got her number before she had to join her friends (see: not be judged by jerk-off promoters).

Later in the night, the promoters bounced everyone to another shitty location down in the flatiron district. I took this opportunity to regain the attention of the girl I had met earlier and we sat down on a couch and talked for a while. She seemed really cool and the conversation was going well, so we started making out. She was a kind of horrible kisser, but at this point there wasn’t much else in the venue so I figured I’d just fix her or whatever and eventually get the bang because very hot either way. We stand up and start dancing and making out again, when she decides it would be a good idea to bite my lower lip really hard. She only did it the one time but the damage was done and while I was still interested in trying to fuck her, she was completely ruled out as anything more than a one night stand. Over the course of the rest of the night, she proceeded to make me progressively less interested until I eventually just had an “I’m better than this” moment and decided she didn’t deserve my dick.

Cut to this week, I’m at one of my favorite spots on the lower east side doing my thing. I start talking to this girl who is not exactly my type but was still quite hot and seemed like she would be amazing in bed. We’re talking a little and being very physical, and it’s pretty clear that this girl is attracted to me. We make out some, and then she bites my lip and makes it bleed a little. It was bleeding on the inside so it didn’t look bad, but I could taste the blood and feel the wound a little bit so I was pissed off. Night ruined.

Looking back, I think that she was into some kind of forced submission fantasy and was trying to taunt me into taking that role. I’ll play that game to a point, but on some point I lose interest and attraction. For example, we’re talking and she tells me that she is going to find her friend and asks me to come with her, but then when I do she completely ignores me and doesn’t even introduce me. Later, when she comes and finds me again, we talk for a bit before she tries to get me to chase her onto the dance floor. I go with her to the dance floor, but then she starts hiding behind people and grabbing people and pushing them between us. Very weird. In both scenarios I basically played it aloof and walked right over to another girl and started talking to her.

Sorry ladies, but I am too busy to be dealing with bullshit from you. If you want the dick, you have to earn it. If you’re hot, it doesn’t take very much, but if you’re not willing to play the game with me, I’d rather just crank one out.

Hey Guys,

Psychoanalysis game is something that I have been doing since I first read Magic Bullets back in 2007 after seeing the first episode of Season 1 of VH1′s  ”The Pickup Artist.”  It works very well for me and is the basis of a lot of what I do with regards to boyfriend stealing and general relationship management. As you guys know, I am not a guru or a dating coach, so this may or may not be the best advice in the world for everyone, but I will say that whether or not it works for me cannot be questioned.

One of the first things you learn when people start teaching you game is that “you can’t logic your way into bed with a girl.” I think that this is generally true, but psychoanalysis game attempts to do just that in a way. The human mind is a very interesting thing, and while we perceive that we have “free will” and are in the driver’s seat of our bodies, all the science on decision making seems to suggest otherwise. In fact, every day, as more and more studies are published, they paint a picture of us being spectators rather than players in the game of life. What I mean by this is that our decisions are made for us in lower areas of our brain and are then backwards rationalized in our consciousness. So while you can’t logic a girl into feeling emotions that you want her to feel, you can alter the way she interprets them in the conscious mind. This is where psychoanalysis game comes into play.

First, a word of caution. When used properly, these techniques can be extremely powerful, so as with all technology, just be careful to what ends you are using it for.

There are a million areas in which you can use psychoanalysis game, so I’m not going to even try to name all of them, but basically the jist of it is that you are going to come up with explanations for her behavior that are in line with what you want from her.  This is always a very risky gambit, because if you are way off it will not work. Of course, if in fact your explanation is the reason for her behavior, then obviously you’re golden, but you probably also didn’t need to use psychoanalysis game in the first place. These gambits are effective for that grey area between the definite yes and definite no where you may be able to tip the balance by backwards rationalizing her behavior in your favor.

Let’s talk about an application of psychoanalysis game. Say you’re trying to steal a girl from another guy. You have her attracted to you and you talk to her regularly enough that it would feel weird if she didn’t hear from you for a couple of days. You followed my advice and told her that you like her and want to her to leave the the other guy for you, and that you cannot be her friend anymore if she doesn’t, and then do the dip Freak Nasty style. A week later she calls you and says that she misses you as a friend.

Instead of just saying, “no, I told you I wan’t going to be your friend,” what you do is explain to her that she obviously likes you otherwise she wouldn’t be so upset about losing you as a “friend.” Then you take it a step further and tell her that she obviously isn’t happy in her current relationship or she wouldn’t care if you disappeared from her life. Tell her that her guy is obviously a huge pussy and doesn’t act like a man around her. Describe all of the “nice guy” behavior that you would imagine she’s probably experiencing. Then dip away again. Let it ruminate. If she doesn’t call you back, you’re lost (either she’s really into the guy and you were just wrong, or she’s just not attracted enough to you despite not being into her boyfriend). If she does, reinforce what you said before, and make a logistical play to see her.

The reason that I say this operates in the grey area is because it doesn’t have to actually be the case that she likes you that much that she is going to leave her current situation for you. In fact, it is often the case, particularly with an exceptionally beautiful woman, that she is just not used to being denied in that way and it is throwing her off. Again though, you can rewire this rationalization in her mind as described above. We’re not changing what she’s feeling, just how she interprets what she’s feeling. Once the change in her interpretation has been made, this rationalization will shape her actions going forward. I am not sure how clear or unclear this explanation of psychoanalysis game is, so please let me know if anything needs to be clarified.

Hammer

Being that I live in New York City, it is rare for me to date a girl with no game. The girls I date (as in actually see regularly, compared to just fucking a girl once or twice) are generally in the top 10% of looks and as a result have a ton of experience dealing with guys. Also, based on the type of personality that I find attractive, that sassiness just generally seems to carry over to her game. This is why it was so odd for me to deal with this girl who has absolutely zero girl game last night after the Super Bowl.

Just to go through the quick background on this girl, I met her out a couple of weeks ago at a bar I’ve been frequenting lately. Opened her direct almost immediately as she came into my field of view, and eventually got her number later in the evening after trying to game her cute friend for about half of the night despite having initially being drawn to her. We texted back and forth a couple of times, but she also ignored a couple of my texts in between, so I wasn’t really sure where I stood until I ran into her at the same bar on Friday night and hung out with her for a couple of hours, made out with her a lot and seeded our post Super Bowl date.

The thing is, this girl is green. Really green. She’s from a small town in Ohio, and goes to a small school in an even smaller town in Ohio. She was in a relationship all through high school and has had a boyfriend for two years in college (the only guy she’s ever slept with). Got to the city three weeks ago for a semester here, and has been working like crazy between an internship with a really popular TV show and a couple of other part time jobs in the evenings. As a result of this lack of experience, she has absolutely no game. It’s kind of weird because since I have a very high octane game designed for high octane girls, it’s almost like my game is too powerful and I feel a little manipulative in using it. It’s the same kind of feeling you get when you realize that the girl that you’re kicking it to is only being as responsive as she is because she’s hammered beyond belief and probably won’t remember your conversation the next day.

I happen to actually really like this girl. She’s really fun and positive, and generally very interesting despite her lack of game. I want to keep her around for the duration of her stay in the city, hopefully seamlessly integrating her into rotation without too much of a problem, but at the same time I want to make sure that I don’t fuck her up emotionally. I had her in my bed last night making out with me, yet I didn’t sleep with her. Granted, she wasn’t down to sleep with me yet, but a simple application of some kung fu penis and I would have been inside her without issue. And the decision to not KFP was not one of those “it slipped my mind” moments; when I brought her into my room I had every intention of KFPing. It was actually a game time decision based on me not wanting to ruin her for other men. When a guy like me gives up a lay that is on a silver platter with a cute girl who he actually likes, it’s worth investigating further.

We had a fun little date last night. I had her meet me at 9:30 in my lobby, which she objected to first, but when I explained that it was because I had people over for the Super Bowl and we’d go out for a drink afterword she agreed. I actually thought that my argument was pretty logical, but given her initial hesitation because she didn’t want me to think of her “that way,” I was still surprised when she agreed without any further objection (I later found out that her roommate fed her the initial objection). I was even more surprised when without hesitation she came upstairs (game hadn’t ended yet) without blinking an eye. After the game we went out to a nearby bar that I like to take dates to because it has board games that can be borrowed, and as we were talking I started to realize that she really had no game. She was accepting every frame I was throwing at her, from the simple non-judgmental and discreet frames to the more aggressive ones like casual sex can be empowering and bisexuality. She was trying really hard to impress me in the conversation, like the way that an AFC would sound in talking to a hot girl. I could see her falling in love with me before my eyes and that was not okay!

So now the question is will the alterations that I made to my game serve their intended purpose, or will they just result in me blowing it with a girl who I really like? Or worse, what if the alterations in my game do nothing and I end up fucking her up for other men anyway? So I ask you guys, what do you think of gaming girls with no game?

As a man playing the game, sometimes you just need to borrow other people’s shit. I’m not super into using routines, but there are definitely one liners and various things that I do with girls that are in the can, and in no part of my game is this more true than when I’m texting. I got this one from Eric Disco this week, although I’m sure he got it from somewhere else. Anyway, you can see how he used it in his post here.

Hammer: You’ll never guess what happened to me last night

Sexy Blondie: Hey! What happened?

H: This gorgeous blond girl totally picked me up. She had some pretty good moves

SB: Ha she must have been one hot mama. I wonder if you’ll ever see her again?

H: I hope so, i was pretty smitten. She was so positive and had this infectious laugh. It’s too bad she was such a dork or we’d be eloping in vegas right now

SB: Haha! Wow, she sounds incredible… you should probably take her to dinner later this week

H: Well i’m actually really busy this week but if she were free on wed night at 8:30 or a little after i would definitely be up for doing just that

SB: I think she d love that, and being that she’s such a dork she’s probably free!

(The rest of the conversation is just me making sure that she doesn’t have any diet problems with the restaurant that I picked and then me telling her where and when)

It was soooo on with this girl on last (Saturday) night. I don’t know exactly what happened, but it seemed like there was some emergency with her phone. Everything was going perfectly and I was sure I had the same night lay in the bag, but I told her to pull out her phone and then proceeded to call myself from her phone and then save myself in.

After doing that, she looked at her phone and realized she had a whole bunch of missed calls and text messages. I didn’t really get to talk to her much after that, and at some point she went outside and said she would be right back, but then never came back. I thought maybe I’d blown it by escalating too hard or something, but now I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the case. In the self help world, we’re very big on taking responsibility for everything that goes on around us, but the fact is that sometimes things are just out of our control. It looks like this was one of those times.

I’ll report back after we see each other Wednesday.

Hey Guys,

I’m going to be writing a column for TSB Magazine on Wednesdays called “This Week In Game.” The first article is here. Take a look!

Hammer

I don’t really do much day game, in fact I can count my non-night game approaches this summer on one hand, and there are a lot of reasons for this. The first and most important is that I don’t have the patience or time for it. Even in NYC, women who are hot enough for me to justify approaching are few and far between, so I can walk around for literally 2-3 hours and not run into any women of that caliber. Then again, there are other times where I’ll be in a hurry to get somewhere and I’ll see five women who I should approach but just don’t really have time to. The second reason I haven’t been doing day game is that I have had a pretty regular stream of quality women that I’ve been meeting lately at night and wouldn’t have the time to go out with the women were it to go successfully. Then of course there’s the whole having the balls to do it; it takes time to psych yourself into the headspace (or at least it does for me) and there are definitely times where I see someone I want to talk to and I just take too long to decide to make the move.

It’s really hypocritical of me to not be doing day game. I’ve been sort of semi-instructing my friend on his journey lately (not that I’m really all that qualified to do so), and a big part of this has been getting his ass fired up to approach, particularly during the day since it’s more conducive to what he likes and wants. The thing is though, he’s been doing this for months, and yet he’s not getting results. He’s not really getting dates, and one of his first approaches in a pizza shop led to a lay but it was clearly a fluke with a girl who just wanted it because he hasn’t had a day game lay since.

I went on a “day game” date last night, although I put it in quotes because even though it was a day game style street approach, it was at 9 PM last Friday and was decidedly dark outside at the time, and it reminded me how fucking easy day game is. When I approached her, Kiwi and I were walking around my neighborhood totally smashed after coming from a free open bar. We had been sort of teasing each other about our game, i.e. he was teasing me about my game and I was laughing at him because my results speak for themselves, when I saw him approach and get blown out quickly. So I now had material to knock him on, which I proceeded to do for a block and a half, at which point I told him that I was going to show him how it was done and I ran up and approached this girl who was about a block ahead of us.

A couple of interesting things about this particular approach:

1) I scared the shit out of her, and I think it worked to my advantage. When I approached, I walked up ahead of her to check out her face for a second, then dipped behind her for a moment before touching her arm and opening. She had headphones on so she didn’t see or hear me coming and was startled, but I used very passive body language backing off a full five feet and apologizing for startling her (note: for startling her, not for approaching her or interrupting her), and we started talking. I think scaring her helped me though, possibly by crossing signals with attraction switches and making me seem hotter.

2) She is at the very least three years older than me, and it hasn’t come up at all. Usually women her age will qualify me on my age immediately, since they don’t like dating guys younger than them, and I look about 6 years younger than I actually am (23). So since it hasn’t come up, even on our three hour date, I think she’s probably concerned that her being as old as she is will disqualify her from me. That means that my frame is good, and she’s interpreting me as “the chooser.”

3) She was totally dressed down when I approached, so I didn’t realize how fucking hot she was! When I saw her from behind, I could tell she was definitely in the range, but for some reason I thought she had a little junk in the trunk (maybe it was the loose t-shirt covering her ass) and I knew that her face was already showing her age, so after getting her number, she wasn’t exactly that high on my priority list. But when last night opened up, she got her shot, and wow was I wrong about her body. She had just run a half marathon yesterday, and the fact that she was a runner definitely showed. Tight little body (spinner!!), totally flat stomach (with a belly button piercing), nice rounded athletic ass, basically totally perfect fuck buddy material. It’s always nice to find a sleeper hottie.

4) She thanked me for approaching her as we said goodbye. This further confirms my hypothesis that women like to be approached by guys they’re interested in having sex with. It’s nice to have that positive reinforcement, especially since it’s such a socially awkward thing to do. I’ve pretty much always had success with day game, but that doesn’t mean there still aren’t going to be personal obstacles to overcome in order to man up. I fully believe that we are evolutionarily hard coded with approach anxiety to prevent approaching the wrong women (which would lead to being killed by an alpha of the tribe, a phenomenon that still occurs in many cousin species), and it always amazes me the mental gymnastics that my mind can do despite such blatant evidence in my personal experience to the contrary.

Alright well I wanted to touch on a few things that I notice about what I do differently from my buddy that I think a lot of guys who are having trouble doing day game might be doing wrong. The first thing is that he’s not being genuine with women. He’s using no inflection when he complements and making it seem like he does this all the time (which he does), but the problem is that he’s not making them feel special. When I go direct on the street, I have this very coy attitude and come across non-threatening. My friend isn’t getting the results that he wants, and I keep telling him that he needs to do a better job of being genuine, but he refuses saying opening is not his problem because he’s getting into conversations with women. Yet I’ve seen him in conversations with women, and the dynamic isn’t right from the beginning. He’ll figure it out eventually, but for now, you guys can learn from his mistake.

The next BIG mistake he’s making is that he’s not stopping women. I don’t really understand why he doesn’t do this one, but it makes such a difference. Even when you’re going in the same direction as a woman, stop her to talk. You’re important, and it builds compliance. As you open, stop and wait for her to stop. Then talk to her, and if after a few minutes you want to walk together, do that on your terms.

The last mistake he’s making is that he’s not having interesting conversations. Everything is logistics, where she’s going, what she does, etc. There’s no emotion, nothing that is going to hook her. It comes down to being interesting and likeability. He’s not taking a genuine interest in these women and as a result he’s not receiving a genuine interest from them. So he’s getting numbers, but they’re all flakes. Flakes happen a lot in night game, and no matter how good you are you’re still going to have at least a 25-50% flake ratio there, but during the day they really shouldn’t happen very much.

Anyway, just to round out the story, I didn’t lay the girl on the date last night, but we made out quite a bit and if there’s a next time, I think that it’ll happen with near certainty.