Archive for the ‘Miscellaneous’ Category

Poetry: Dream Girl

Thursday, November 13th, 2008

 

Sunshine and rainbows, things started out

 

Texting throughout the day.

Jokes and flirting made the workday pass

Never running out of things to say.

Who would have thought, a couple texts

Coupled with the bouncing of the train

Could make you come, on MetroNorth

Stimulating only your brain.

And now you’re gone

I must move on

It makes me want to scream.

You could have been my Dream Girl

But now you’re just a dream.

 

And now you want to be a friend

Much to my dismay.

I will not be your friend, I said

So please just go away.

Too bad that chump is lame and square

You settled for safe, a man who can’t lead.

I’m not the one to fill that void

Go find a gay guy, that’s what you need.

Can’t be your friend

I must contend

I’ve cut you from my team.

You could have been my Dream Girl

But now you’re just a dream.

 

So many things, came between us

From family emergencies to injuries

Then there was that sibling pressure

Enough with the baseless judgments, please.

Deep down I know we could be great

If you’d just give us a fair shot.

The window’s open, make your move

Give a brand new ending to this age old plot.

I confess it’s true

I still love you

Your voice still makes me gleam.

You could have been my Dream Girl

But now you’re just a dream.

DramaTel and SpoofCard

Monday, September 29th, 2008

This post represents a mixture of a public service announcement and a random musing. If you have a tendency to mess around on your spouse or even just weigh your options behind his/her back, make sure you read on.

Have any of you heard of either Dramatel or SpoofCard? I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard Covino & Rich talking about this today on the show. For those of you who don’t know, these services essentially mask your phone number from caller id and allow you to put another number in its place. In addition, you have the option of distorting your voice up or down to make it sound male or female (apparently it’s particularly good at making female voices deeper). Try this out once and you will be amazed at the amount of faith we put in the caller id on our phones. 

Cheaters beware! If you are screwing around behind your significant other’s back, be very careful how you answer the phone when you’re being called, particularly if you’re ignoring your boy/girlfriend’s calls at that time. 

Slackers beware! When you call out sick from work, make sure that you are careful and consistent with the charade, particularly if your boss has emergency contacts on file. I’m definitely going to keep these two services in the back of my mind in case I need them.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vg3LRv6LsQw&hl=en&fs=1]

I know this commercial is incredibly cheesy and looks like a joke/spoof, but it’s not.

My first post: who am I and what am I writing about?

Monday, September 15th, 2008

Hello people reading this (no one yet). My name is Hammer. Well, that’s not really my name, but it’s always been a nickname so let’s just go with it. I am not quite sure what the direction of this weblog is going in, so there’s definitely a good chance that I am going to want to maintain my anonymity.

So a couple of things about me: I think I’m pretty cool. You’ll either love me, or hate me, or think I’m okay (that’s my homage to the late and great Mitch Hedberg). I’m a 22 year old graduate of an elite university, working in the technology sector. I am born and raised in New York city, and though I went away for college, I moved back home afterward and am currently living with my mom.

As I start to write on this blog, I’ll fill in more about me and my life, and you’ll hopefully get to know and love me, but for now I want to stay away from the boring stuff and finish up this introductory post by discussing what this blog will be about and why you should subscribe. Topics on this blog will include sports, tech, dating, sex, politics, movies, tv shows, and anything else that I feel the urge to write about. Rather than going into more detail describing what the blog is about, I think I’m just going to jump right into the content.

Hammer86