Archive for the ‘Motivational’ Category

Fat Positive and other Morally Bankrupt Concepts Contributing to the Pussification of America

Monday, May 2nd, 2011

America reclaimed a little bit of its strength yesterday with the assassination of Osama bin Laden. Hopefully we will look back on that act as a turning point in our “war on terrorism.” At home though, we are still losing our own internal war on the Pussification of America (Credit my boys Covino and Rich from SiriusXM).

Last week, my buddy Lance from Honey and Lance sent me a link to this post which he knew I would find interesting and would want to comment on. Reading my comments on the post, I think you’ll get a pretty good sense of my take, so that’s not what I’m going to touch on here. What I instead want to write about is some more meta-ethical points that relate directly back into this post as well as many themes of the blog on which it lives.

The blog post was written by a chick named Rachel Rabbit White, a self proclaimed married bisexual feminist. I should mention that I have a lot more respect for her now than I did when I wrote my first comment, which was an intentionally douchy response to an intentionally douchy article. Despite my tone, she handled herself in a very mature, open minded way that I have a lot of respect for. It doesn’t excuse her blog based on morally bankrupt concepts, but I want to make it clear that the goal of this post is not to be an ad hominem attack, but rather a critical review of some of these concepts.

Yesterday I was walking around central park with a girl and she brought up a tangential topic, namely, morality in dating, and more specifically, what drives human dating behavior in men and women. My response was pretty long, but at the start of the response, I noted that the prevailing scientific theory in biology at the moment is that of evolution by natural selection, and as such, any discussion of human drives, and by extension human ethics, must have its theoretical foundation in evolution to even be on my radar. I don’t want to get into too much debate about what makes something good or bad, but suffice it to say that any model worth considering is going to be rooted in evolution, and as such is going to agree with the rest of this post.

So let’s talk about “fat positive” for a second, because it came up numerous times when I was exploring Rachel’s blog, and it also came up indirectly in a couple of comments below the post, specifically those by Scarlett. For those of you who don’t know what it is, “fat positive” is a movement with the goal of an acceptance of fatness as normal, healthy and attractive. Now, I understand where Rachel is coming from, as she has a history of anorexia, so it’s understandable that she feels like judgment of female beauty contributes to body image issues, and that this is a problem for the world. But here’s the thing: attraction is not a choice, and is largely rooted in biology, much moreso than people are willing to acknowledge in this day and age. Body fat in healthy individuals is tightly regulated in the hypothalamus. Both the urge to overeat and to undereat fall into this category of “tightly regulated,” and the psychological story that our mind tells itself is reverse engineered from the biochemistry of the brain. As such, if someone is overweight, it means that they are unhealthy, in the sense that this regulatory signaling is getting disrupted, so the body chooses to retain excess fat mass because it thinks that this level of fat mass is a much lower, actually healthy level.

From a evolutionary standpoint, it makes a world of sense that an unhealthy physique would be unattractive. It also makes sense that physique would be vastly more important to men than it would be to women. Biologically, a man is capable of impregnating a woman, leaving, and still having his genetics passed onto the next generation, assuming that the woman is physically capable of giving birth and raising the child without dying. So the minimum investment required from a man is about two minutes or less, and evolution will select for men to be attracted to fit women who will be able to raise their child to self-sufficiency. By comparison, the minimum level of investment required of a woman to have her genetics passed on to the next generation is a bare minimum 9 months and more commonly on the order of 13+ years. Since our incentives are so misaligned, it’s no surprise that our mechanisms of attraction would be so different.

These differences are reality, and to judge individuals on these differences is to ignore reality, to fly in the face of it. As such, it is immoral to judge a man for liking hot women, just as it is immoral to judge a woman for liking power, money, word creativity or anything else that women are attracted to. That is why the “fat positive” movement is total bullshit. Being fat is not normal, it’s not healthy, and it’s definitely not attractive. To deny these facts is to deny reality. To criticize someone for choosing to accept reality is immoral. For this reason, the “fat positive” movement is a morally bankrupt movement.

Still with me so far? Great, so let’s go one step deeper. Now, for the most part, I do not blame fat people for being fat, it is not their fault. They were born into a perfect storm of obesity creation, namely a world in which grains are the base of the food pyramid and are subsidized by the government, and dietary animal fats are demonized and replaced by frankenoils created from the subsidized grains. Still, just because it’s not your fault that you’re not fat, doesn’t mean that you should except that you are fat. Accepting mediocrity is to refuse to strive for greatness, which brings me full circle to the Pussification of America.

Earlier in this piece I mentioned that I am going to do my best to keep things agnostic of your beliefs about morality as long as whatever system you believe in has a basis in evolution. Still, I want to make it clear that my belief is that human achievement is good, and to accept mediocrity for yourself is bad. Regardless of whether you agree with this worldview, it is undeniable that the United States of America was founded on this conception of morality. So anything that serves to make America accept mediocrity rather than strive for greatness is something that results in the pussification of our nation. Look, if you want to accept mediocrity for yourself and have that be sanctioned by the government, there are plenty of other countries in the world. America is supposed to be the one safe haven for ambition. At some point, I may write a blog post on this (hint, government needs to get out of the way on most things, the exceptions being public goods, a bare minimum standard of living social safety net, healthcare because it is not a market good, and education because it is the vehicle by which one learns the basic tools required in order to move from poverty into prosperity), but for now, I’ll try to stay on topic.

The Pussification of America needs to be stopped. It needs to be resisted at every turn. This includes derailing the “fat positive” movement. For all of you fatties who protest, check out Robb Wolf’s site or Mark Sisson’s site, a lot of great free information on both, and both have hugely popular books available in all major bookstores. Now you have access to the right information, and losing weight will be stupid easy for you should you choose to do it. If you don’t choose to do it, well, now that you have good information, you are choosing mediocrity for yourself, and I no longer give a shit if I offend you.

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Trend-Squashing – The Moon Boot

Monday, February 21st, 2011

I was appalled this morning, moreso than I’ve been in years. More specifically, I haven’t been so offended since the first time I saw a hot chick wearing Uggs, squashing any chance at a slow roaster that may have been brewing.

Getting out of the Subway on the way to work, I saw a moderately hot chick wearing these crimes against humanity. I probably wouldn’t have even noticed except that she was clumpity clumping along like she was a fucking horse.

Moon Boots are atrocious. Whoever designed them should be brought up on Geneva Convention charges, then sent to the most hardcore, ass-pound-in-the-shower prison you can find.

As men, we must stand united behind the cause of stopping the spread of this eye burning abomination. Women all over the world must know that no man is desperate enough to fuck a woman who would be caught dead in these. That is all.

2010 New Years Resolutions

Monday, January 4th, 2010

Everyone seems to be posting their New Year’s resolutions, so I figured I would put mine out there so that I can hold myself accountable as well.

  1. Generate a second stream of income – I really need to figure out a way to make an extra $2000 a month, ideally without putting in too much extra effort. Even if I change jobs such that I make an extra 24 grand a year, I would still like a second stream of income that is independent of my day job, as this is step one on the lifestyle design journey.
  2. Fall in Love again – Obviously you can’t have a pickup blog that doesn’t at least involve one or two goals for ones love and sex life
  3. Reach my optimal AI – My shoulders are currently only 40” around, but the goal is to get them to 53” around by the end of December. I don’t know if I can put on this much weight in 12 months, but that’s the goal.
  4. Build a Blog Following – I would like to get my readership up, while maintaining the quality and loyalty of my readership. I envision a community similar to what Tim Ferriss has around his blog that includes people from all walks of life whom I ask questions and bounce ideas off of.
  5. Go skydiving – Pretty self explanatory, but this is something I’ve been meaning to do.
  6. Learn a Partner Dance Style – I am looking into Tango, Swing, Salsa, and a couple of others to decide which one I am interested in but I will learn some form of partner dance and ideally become a part of the subculture around it.
  7. Travel to another country – I’ve had a lot of trouble getting friends to drop the cash for an international vacation, but this year I am going to take an international trip whether it’s with a friend or solo.
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Not Getting the Results You Want?

Sunday, August 9th, 2009

I read an article recently about people “opting out” (i.e.. giving up) of dating on Simone Grant’s blog, and it really made me kind of think about myself and how I just really can’t identify with the experience of ever having a desire to give up on anything, let alone something as important as one’s love life. I see people do it all the time, but it’s just something that I don’t understand intellectually. It’s just my personality and how I was raised. A million things can go wrong in my life but I still believe with every ounce of my being that I deserve happiness and if I work at it eventually I’ll get it right.

It’s so incredible to me how many parallels there are between entrepreneurship/business/sales and dating. Most of the most successful people in the world aren’t successful because they got lucky the first time around; they’re successful because every time they failed they viewed it as one more idea that didn’t work bringing them a step closer to an idea that would.

People talk about how Thomas Edison tried thousands of failed designs when he was trying to invent the light bulb before he finally created one that worked, or even how long actors and musicians pound the pavement trying to get a break before they hit it big. The constant is always that these people believe that they DESERVE the success that is around the corner for them and it’s never about the goal, but rather about enjoying the journey, and knowing that the more difficult the road the better it will feel when you arrive at your destination.

There are definitely two distinct types of people in the world when it comes to goal setting and ambition. There’s the person who reads a book like “The 4 Hour Work Week” by Tim Ferriss and thinks it’s a cute story but is not replicable for them or anyone else (this is the feeling that I got when I read the Dateable Dork’s blog post on pondering her road ahead), then there’s the person who reads that book and feels like he just got slapped across the face by the voice of reason. He realizes that his life fell off track somewhere along the way and it’s about time that he get his shit together. What’s funny about it is that a lot of the people who think that way about career ambitions often think the opposite way about their love life.

I’m sure that many of you have heard all of this stuff before and for most of you it will not resonate, but for someone like me, this is how I think, and that’s the difference between successful people and everyone else. It’s the difference talked about in “Rich Dad, Poor Dad.” Call it delusional, call it idealistic, say it’s because I’m young and haven’t been beaten down by the world yet, but fuck you! I am delusional, I live in my own reality, but you know what? By believing it, it becomes true. One of my favorite t-shirts I own is a shirt from Reflect Ts that says “I create my reality” on it backwards so that I can read it to myself in a mirror. Maybe some of you need to think back to who you were at the age of 23 and imagine what that version of yourself would say about the current one.

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Are You Your Dream Girl's Dream Guy?

Monday, June 8th, 2009

A couple of things have happened in my life lately that have motivated me to write this article:

First, I’ve been spending a retarded amount of time gaming over the last few months and now would like to reallocate some of that time toward some business initiatives that I’ve recently gotten involved in, but the only way to really keep myself sexually satisfied with a reduced allocation of time toward dating is a relationship. This has gotten me thinking a lot about what I’m looking for in a woman.

Second, I introduced a friend of mine to game and he’s really committed himself to getting good (had his first lay in like 6 months last weekend!) and dating around to figure out what he likes so he can tailor his game appropriately. Having been an AFC his whole life, relationships have sort of just come to him so he’s never really explored what interests him, a problem that all but maybe the top 10% of men have.

Third, I’ve been talking to this girl who so far has a lot of relationship potential (call her Liz) and while I’m not sure things will work with her, it’s gotten me warmed up to the idea of getting involved to that level with someone again.

My telling people that I’ve decided that I’m going to find a girlfriend has been met with a lot of skepticism among friends and family. That’s fine, a lot of them don’t know me that well, particularly with regards to my dating life. I keep getting the old “it’s not that simple to just find someone” and the “what’s to say that when you find the perfect girl, she’ll even like you.”

Which brings me to the topic at hand: are you the man that your type of woman is looking for? You see, women have negative views of game because they think it’s manipulative and dishonest, and that makes total sense because a lot of men are all looking for the magic bullet to essentially lie and manipulate women into their beds. But game is not about a magic bullet. Game is about changing yourself. Improving yourself. We practice structure at the beginning to develop an unconscious competence over time that makes us into better conversationalists and more attractive men. Men who will in fact get the girl who they want. My personality is more authentic and true to myself than ever before in my life. I make a lot of people laugh, I piss a lot of people off, but no matter what, I feel very secure in the fact that everything I say is the real me and not me trying to pretend to be someone that another person might like. And yes, my type, the type of woman that drives me wild, feels the same way about me.

I guess when I first got into my relationship with Rian about this time last year was when this idea first really resonated with me. It was then that I really started to identify as the guy who my type likes. There have been a few other occasions of this, including an incident where I was with my buddy RajNYC and I had to actively ignore the girl he’d brought with him so as not to steal her from him (he ended up getting laid that night by the way, I warned him not to bring girls who are my type around me again because next time I’ll steal her).

Bottom line is, when a girl is my type; that super sassy intellectual with a dorky streak and a sense of adventure as well as healthy open minded views toward sex; it is game over. I am the guy that she’s probably never met before but will instantly fall hard for. I’ve spent nearly two years developing my personality and sense of self to the point where I can make that proclamation, but really feel like I’m now that guy. Maybe Liz is my type, but if she’s not, I’ll work my ass off to find the next girl who is. I’m going to do it without online game for a while and see how it goes (Liz is a Match.com girl, the last one still in my phone from my last round of emails a few weeks ago). I know that I won’t cover as much ground that way, but my subscription just expired on match and I want to prove myself that I can find a girlfriend without it using day game and night game if for no other reason than to say I did.