Link to yesterday’s post here.

My boy Lance over at Honey & Lance wrote a post yesterday that I thought stood in perfect contrast to the Sinn blog post I wrote about yesterday. He talked about how when you fuck up as a man from time to time your girl will naturally prod your masculinity, and how important/hot this dynamic is. I couldn’t agree with him more.

Going through my RSS, I found a post from Jason Savage that really resonated with me as well:

The action of pick-up takes on the tone of manipulation from a sense of lack. The action of seduction takes on a tone of appreciation from a sense of abundance.

That tone of appreciation toward the feminine is exactly what we’re talking about.

Hey Guys,

Guess it’s been a while, sorry about that. Well, not really, I’ve been busy, been living life, and things are good. Still, given my 5 month hiatus, I’m probably broadcasting this post out into thin air for no one to read.

It looks to me like Sinn has officially gone off the deep end.  From this post:

Lately I have been cutting girls faster than barbers do. Any little thing a girl does that goes against what I’m looking for right now:
Multiple low maintenance relationships with girls who are above the Mythical 8.5 line have real jobs that are in no way related to modeling, the club scene, or acting or performance art I.E The unemployed.
Furthermore at the first sign of a push for commitment, I am going to dump the girl and replace her. I am not interested in committed relationships, semi-committed relationships or anything requiring more investment than every other day phone contact and once a week hangouts.

I’ve always liked Sinn, and he’s been incredibly influential in the development of my game, both directly and indirectly (I found Captain Jack and El Topo’s blogs through his). When I was new to the community I felt like I could relate to him better than anyone else I read, for a variety of reasons; we’re the same age, we have a similar sense of humor, probably like the same types of personalities in women; I imagine that a lot of others feel the same way. Plus, maybe there was a little underlying resentment toward women that he played to.

I imagine that if you are one of my six readers, you probably looked at that post of his and had the same reaction I did, but for those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s this: according to this post, Sinn doesn’t want any feminine elements in the women he dates. He wants a man with boobs and a vagina. He wants a warm body to masturbate inside.

Look, I don’t really care about his personal choices. Clearly he still has a lot of personal growth ahead of him, as do we all. But for him to be teaching guys in a self help industry centered around connecting with women, while underneath it all he still hates women, man, I don’t even have the words. All there is to say is that he’s going to seriously fuck some people up. It’s sad because there are so many men who come into this scene with that underlying level of resentment, and they’ll all naturally gravitate toward him. All that will do is mask the hatred, which down the road will undoubtedly blow up in your face.

Women are sexy. Just because a woman is emotionally stable and generally secure doesn’t mean she isn’t still a woman. She still has hormones that fluctuate over the course of the month, she still sees things from a more emotional and less logical perspective. We like this though, because as men we are attracted to women. The fact that she gets mad at us for stuff once in a while just makes the makeup sex that much hotter. Point is, this is all part of the feminine elements of her. This is the part that we love. The body is great, we see it, it makes us hard, we want to be inside it. But we still want to connect, and it’s that feminine side that we connect with. It’s not apparent to me that Sinn is capable of connecting in that way with women, and as such, has no business teaching others how to do it.

Hey All,

It’s been a long, long time since I posted. Sorry about that. Not sure how much I’ll be posting going forward, as I’ve gotten less and less interested in the community as a whole lately, but who knows, maybe I’ll change my mind and go on a tear again.

The 21 Convention

The 21 Convention was dope. One observation I have to point out is that Anthony is a lot more jacked in person than he seems in his videos and pictures. He’s also far less abrasive in person than he is in his writing, which I suppose I expected on some level, but nonetheless I was still impressed by his demeanor.

It was really good to see Lance, and his roommates are also pretty cool. Of course Steve was there too, which is always a great time. He had an awesome group of students working with him, and I’m very glad to have met them.

Strength Training

I’ve spent roughly a year now spinning my wheels unsuccessfully trying to put on weight using what I still consider to be an optimal strength training program based on all of the research I’ve read, in addition to common sense. Despite my beliefs about proper training, I have changed up my program recently and wanted to talk about that here. Before I do, however, I just wanted to link to Anothony’s recent post on training, the thesis of which is “Exercise is Strength Training.” I think this is a great way to sum exercise up, and anyone who does any kind of physical activity that they call “exercise” with any other primary objective in place is just going to be doing it wrong.

As I said, I changed my program up, and for good reason. On a Robb Wolf podcast not too long ago, I heard him talk about how before  you begin any bulking program, you should get evaluated by a functional medicine doctor or a Poliquin BioSignature guy to make sure you can bulk up properly, and if not, correct any issues you need to before bulking. I had this done, and as it turns out I am experiencing some serious adrenal fatigue issues. This is really not that surprising at the end of the day, looking back, having been through some major health problems and major surgery’s, which undoubtedly caused the problems.

So why wasn’t HIT working? Like everything exercise and nutrition related, it’s all about the hormones. When one’s adrenal glands stop producing meaningful amounts of cortisol, as well as necessary sex hormones and growth hormones for hypertrophy, you are not going to be able to exhibit a normal response to an exercise stimulus. Further, it seems that my HIT workout was overstressing my adrenals, possibly even causing more damage, but at the very least preventing major gains.

I’m on a ton of supplements at the moment, and I’m not totally sold on all of them, but I’ve put my trust in this guy for the time being, and seem to be getting results. Haven’t really changed my diet at all other than that, although I suppose I have been more strict about not missing meals. When I walked into his office, I was a lean 135 lbs, 2.7% body fat. Pretty ridiculous. Now I’m at a more healthy 7% body fat, and I’ve been putting on some lean mass as well, which I’m very happy about.

The strength training program that I have jumped on is a more conventional barbell training program. If you know training, you’ve probably heard of it. It’s called “The Starting Strength” and is written by a guy named Mark Rippetoe. I can sum it up as follows:

• Train every other day
• Workout 1, Squat 3×5, Bench Press 3×5, Deadlift 1×5
• Workout 2, Squat 3×5, Bench Press 3×5, Powerclean 5×3
• Use a weight that you can complete all reps, add weight every workout

I’ve made the following modifications: I’ve been ignoring the power cleans, because they’re more a skillset than an actual strength workout, which goes back to Anthony’s premise stated above. I’ve also been flirting with taking two days of rest sometimes, as I feel like sometimes one is not enough to add weight to my squat, but two has generally been sufficient.

The more I’ve been doing it and reading about it, I am starting to think that a workout like this is much better and more effective for a novice trainee than a HIT workout. Given, it’s probably not the safest, but if you’re a novice I don’t think you’re really using enough weight to be in danger of injuring yourself for the most part, as long as you focus your attention on form (since the weight isn’t as heavy as it would be in a HIT workout). I really believe that for a novice, a foundation of free weights is going to be faster and more effective for gaining weight than training to failure. Anthony is undoubtedly going to disagree with this, but he also admittedly had years of traditional training prior to doing any HIT. Once someone is an intermediate trainee, when the linear progression starts to slow, that’s when a HIT protocol is going to be more effective. Again though, all of this goes back to the basic premise of training for strength.

The reason why I believe that doing a less intense, higher rep protocol is going to be optimal for a novice trainee is that this type of trainee has the potential to gain a lot quickly. Going to the gym once a week is just not going to be enough volume to be optimal, and training to failure necessitates leaving this much time to recover.

Psychiatry

Since getting interested in evolutionary nutrition, it has become blatantly obvious that essentially all chronic disease is a disease of civilization, including psych disorders. While my interest in the field has somewhat waned because it feels pretty obvious to me at this point, I still find the biochemistry and the mechanisms interesting. A lot of guys are talking about the biochemistry of heart disease, obesity, autoimmune, etc. But no one seems to be touching on the biochemistry of psychiatric disorders. Enter Dr. Emily Deans. You want to learn about biochemistry, search her blog. Depression? Autism? It’s all there, and undoubtedly there’s more to come. She also talks more about ketosis, which is a topic that is still to this day extremely underrepresented in importance in the paleo nutrition community, than just about anyone else, less maybe Robb Wolf. Anyone who is interested will be a kid in a candy store with her blog.

Hey guys,
Still hasn’t been around as much as I should I suppose, but just wanted to give you the heads up that I will be at the 21 convention, rocking it out with Lance of Honey and Lance. I’ll probably be helping Steve out with his workshop a bit if he needs it, but I’m sure I’ll also have plenty of stories to tell. I’m taking bets on how many PUA Erika hooks up with, over under is 4.
Hammer

As you can probably tell, this post has nothing to do with pickup. I haven’t posted a tech update for a while, which its a shame since tech its something I am passionate about, so I’m bringing you one now.

About a month or so ago, whenever it came out, I got an HTC Droid Incredible, which was my first smart phone. Simply put, it is the shit. Android is awesome. I have my sirius app to listen to my boys Covino and Rich, and now I have the ultimate touchscreen keyboard. It is called swype, and if you’ve never used it you may not get it, but what it does is basically allow you to type upwards of 50 wpm. This post was typed on swype in the android wordpress app. When I first got the phone, the beta was closed. I downloaded it from the web but a week out so later it expired. Today, the beta officially reopened and wow is it amazing. If you have an android phone, you need this app. If you don’t have an android phone, consider quitting life.

By the way, I accidentally handed my phone to women with swype enabled to put in their name, not the best idea. It’s just confusing and could potentially make for a state break. It does work well for picking women up on the subway though. The ideal subway prop used to be the kindle, now everyone has one. But no woman knows what swype is, and if they do, they’ll like it even more. What can I say, nerds are the new cool kids, and girls love to text. Savvy?

So many thoughts to address in this response post. Apologies if they come out jumbled, well not really, if I cared that much I’d proofread.

The other day Entropy put up a post about how as his pick up skills have improved, he’s started to feel isolated in his dating life, because it becomes more and more difficult for him to find a woman who meets his standards. This post apparently caused a stir of comments, but at the time I wasn’t one of them because this is something I had been feeling for a long time, and it seemed pretty obvious to me.

Improvement in Skills -> More Options -> Better Experiences -> Increase in Number of Dealbreakers for Monogamy

Seems pretty simple, right? Well yesterday Entropy put up another post in response to the comments which made me realize how different the two of us are in our thinking on the subject. Entropy, I love you bud, but I’ve got to call you out. While I have no doubt that Entropy is worlds better than me at pickup, it is clear to me that he still has a long way to go in terms of inner game, or as normal people call it, emotional security.

In the response article, Entropy starts out by saying that he needs a girl who fulfills his emotional needs. This speaks to a core problem with his identity. Why do you have emotional needs? El Topo and I have spent hours on the phone talking about this very topic, and never once has emotional needs come up. Granted, him and I have both been through highly traumatic near death experiences and as a result have a unique appreciation for life, but as far as I’m concerned in order to be “dateable,” you need to have your shit together to the point where you are comfortable being independent. Entropy understands this idea from a validation seeking standpoint, but he doesn’t seem to quite be there yet emotionally (Side note, this could very well be as a result of depression due to his diet, I’m not sure how he’s eating, but he said he lost thirty pounds this year, which means he’s been dieting. For most people, this usually means eating some kind of calorie restricted low fat diet, which as we all know by now, leads to neurotransmitter problems in the brain that cause depression).

The next thing worth addressing is this idea of your reality being different from most peoples’ and that making it hard to find people who understand your reality. This makes sense on a superficial level, but the fact is that it is your job to bring people into your reality and help them understand it. When Steve spends all this time talking about Compliance Patterns and how they can be used to get women emotionally invested in your story, he’s doing it because his goal is to as early in the interaction as possible get a woman to understand his world. This quickly sets the framework for a deep emotional connection.

Entropy talks about celebrities like Brad Pitt having a very small number of options due to their status and women just not understanding the world they live in, which is why they all end up monogamous, but this is just one possible interpretation. Another possible interpretation is that in order to get to that level of fame you have to be desperate for that validation. In many cases, it’s to the point where you suck cocks or take it in the ass to get fame. This goes for both the men and the women. Once they attain that fame, the need for validation doesn’t go away. Would certainly explain Brad Pitt trading up from Jennifer Aniston to Angelina Jolie. I’m not saying that’s why he did it, just that it’s a possibility. Not that I pay very close attention, but I don’t really get the impression that their relationship is very happy. I get the impression that she is kind of in control and they resent each other for it. Maybe it’s why she adopts a million kids and he sleeps around?

An “obsession with physical beauty” is not something to be ashamed of. It is genetic. A man should never apologize for what he is attracted to. There’s a difference between wanting the hottest woman out there to impress other men and wanting the hottest women out there because you are attracted to it. For example, I LOVE Lady Gaga. She is so attractive in every way, not going into it now because I think it deserves a post on its own (I’ll make it happen someday, all it takes is a shot). But I don’t think anyone is putting her looks at a 10. Maybe an 8. Gaga may not be your type, but there are going to be certain girls out there who just do it for you, the thing is that they are rare. It’s just a fact of life.

I think the point is that there are other things that you want from another person, but there is a point which you can get to where there is nothing that you NEED. You keep people in your life because you want them there, not because they fill your gaps ala Rocky Balboa.

Wow, been a while huh? A lot of stuff has been going on. I’ve seen substantially improvement in my game, which happens to have coincided with a substantial decrease in motivation to game… funny how that works. For a couple weeks I was on a stripper game kick, but it’s a real pain in the ass to run stripper game unless sleeping until 2pm works with your schedule, as clubs in NYC close at 4, as you’re not really pulling a girl in the middle of her shift in most cases. The other recent development is that I’ve started dating one particular girl a little more seriously than most, and could see myself getting into a relationship with her in the near future. I came inside her last night after accidentally fucking straight through the condom, let’s hope she doesn’t get pregnant because that could really devolve into a hassle and a hoff.

A couple of quick notes on things that I have been doing that have been working for me of late, and then I want to go into what I’m terming ‘hot chick game.’ I’ve substantially lowered my energy level in set. On my 1on1 with Steve one of the first things he told me to do was lower my energy level because it was hurting my game. It took me a while, but at this point my default setting isn’t necessarily super high energy off of the opener, which is progress.

I’ve also started talking a lot about masculinity and femininity in set, and basically stealing a lot of the shit that Steve talks about with women, specifically how masculinity brings out femininity and vice versa, and how most people have a fucked up sense of gender identity and as a result struggle with attracting people into their life who they are compatible with. I guess you can call that the cliff notes version, but the takeaway message is always that I know how to act like a man and as a result women always act like women around me. Then I go into hot chick game which stems from the idea that because of the fact that I know how to act like a man, women act with me the way a beta acts with a hot chick.

Flashes of this have been in the community forever, since David D started spouting his cocky funny lines where you assume the girl is trying to pick you up. More recently, I read something about this type of game in “The Adventures of Brad P” where he talks about how he pretends that he is really good looking and everyone treats him as such. I love talking about how it’s hard for me to find a woman who is real with me because they always blindly agree with everything I say, so I appreciate the fact that she has an opinion. I like to talk about how I have to be really careful at the beginning of relationships because women tend to fall a lot harder for me than anyone should, and it always feels like it’s coming from a place of neediness rather than a place of true desire.

The key difference between this and the old David D stuff is that his stuff was supposed to be cocky funny, whereas this stuff is presented in a totally serious way as if this is my actual reality (it is), and these are actually things that I worry about when I’m dating (they are). I think what makes this so effective is the combination of being able to relate to her dating reality, preselection, and a general non-needy, non-clingy attitude about me that is conducive to casual sex. As with everything I do, there are also substantial elements of framing and embedded commands that are probably at play as well. I find Hot Chick Game to be particularly effective on women who have a tendency to date older men, especially so if you start talking about how older men tend to start out being masculine and non-needy but quickly deteriorate into a needy unattractive mess as a result of insecurities about dating younger women.

Happy to answer any questions you guys have about this stuff, as I’m not sure how clear or useful this post has been to this point.

Had a date scheduled for this evening, but she cancelled on me this morning. In hindsight I’m kind of glad she did though, because after the resulting text message conversation, it seems pretty on. My text game is tight like Mack Tight, so any opportunity to escalate via text is going to work in my favor. Anyway, thought I’d post the conversation for future reference.

Little background, this is a girl from Match.com, and it would have been a first date. I sent her one email (one of these new VIP emails) with a new template I’ve been testing that is designed specifically for sassy girls who are my type. She emailed me back the next morning, and I emailed her back later that day asking for her number. This was a Monday, and she emailed me her number on Thursday of that week. Of course, for whatever reason the Match.com email didn’t come to my inbox, and I didn’t log into the site again until the next Monday. I texted her and didn’t hear back a few times, then on Sunday I sent her the text, “You know, if I didn’t have such a ridiculously overinflated ego I might take your lack of response the wrong way .” She got back, and we texted back and forth a little before setting up Wednesday’s date. So as a recap, never met, ignored a few texts, finally responded and set up a date. Then flake.

Hammer: Hey you, just wanted to confirm tomorrow night at 8 (sent around 11pm last night)

HB: Hey! I’m SO sorry to do this but the lady I babysit for on occasion called me in a panic just now & I couldn’t say no..can we reschedule for later this week??

Hammer: Lol it’s okay, panicked mothers take priority! When would be good for you?

HB: Maybe tomorrow? I’ll figure it out and get back to you in just a bit thanks for understanding!!

Hammer: Don’t worry about it. I’m sure I can get my deposit back on the space shuttle I rented. Tom might work, I have a few appts to see apartments but thats earlier

HB: Hahaha dam I ruined such a great surprise!

Hammer: No im actually relieved. It would have been so embarrassing if I failed the physical and you had passed. I’ve been losing sleep over it all week!

HB: I’m fairly confident we could’ve paid nasa off if you didn’t pass..that’s how all the great astronauts got their start..nasa is quick to accepting “donations”

Hammer: Or sexual favors, that space shuttle is pretty phallic, Im sure they’re all pervs. Too bad I’m saving myself for Jesus

HB: Hahaha you make a very good point..on both accounts

Hammer: You’re trouble. Now you have my mind going o ll kinds of bad places and it’s distracting me from my work! If I weren’t an atheist I’d totally go to confession

HB: I’ll just go to confession for the both of us..2 birds with one stone sorta deal and we’re all set

Hammer: I have a feeling you and I are going to get along. Let me know about tomorrow

HB: Definitely



Hey Guys,

Something weird happened to me the last two weekends that I wanted to share here today: I’m making out with a girl in a bar, when out of nowhere she decides it would be a good idea to bite my lower lip. Now when I say “bite,” I’m not talking about a little playful nibble. Both of these girls full out bit my lip to the point of actual pain. Is this some kind of awful trend that I need to be worried about brought on by some chick flick or CW show?

Two weekends ago, I was out with a couple of buddies at this lounge on the upper east side. My buddy who brought me there goes to parties hosted by these guys a lot, so I figured I’d check it out and see how it went. I was actually having kind of a shitty time because all of the girls in there were nannies from Europe and spoke very little English. There was also something very odd going on with the promoters, where if a girl was seen talking to a guy too long she would get ostracized from the group or something. I did meet one girl who actually seemed really cool though, so I talked to her for a bit then got her number before she had to join her friends (see: not be judged by jerk-off promoters).

Later in the night, the promoters bounced everyone to another shitty location down in the flatiron district. I took this opportunity to regain the attention of the girl I had met earlier and we sat down on a couch and talked for a while. She seemed really cool and the conversation was going well, so we started making out. She was a kind of horrible kisser, but at this point there wasn’t much else in the venue so I figured I’d just fix her or whatever and eventually get the bang because very hot either way. We stand up and start dancing and making out again, when she decides it would be a good idea to bite my lower lip really hard. She only did it the one time but the damage was done and while I was still interested in trying to fuck her, she was completely ruled out as anything more than a one night stand. Over the course of the rest of the night, she proceeded to make me progressively less interested until I eventually just had an “I’m better than this” moment and decided she didn’t deserve my dick.

Cut to this week, I’m at one of my favorite spots on the lower east side doing my thing. I start talking to this girl who is not exactly my type but was still quite hot and seemed like she would be amazing in bed. We’re talking a little and being very physical, and it’s pretty clear that this girl is attracted to me. We make out some, and then she bites my lip and makes it bleed a little. It was bleeding on the inside so it didn’t look bad, but I could taste the blood and feel the wound a little bit so I was pissed off. Night ruined.

Looking back, I think that she was into some kind of forced submission fantasy and was trying to taunt me into taking that role. I’ll play that game to a point, but on some point I lose interest and attraction. For example, we’re talking and she tells me that she is going to find her friend and asks me to come with her, but then when I do she completely ignores me and doesn’t even introduce me. Later, when she comes and finds me again, we talk for a bit before she tries to get me to chase her onto the dance floor. I go with her to the dance floor, but then she starts hiding behind people and grabbing people and pushing them between us. Very weird. In both scenarios I basically played it aloof and walked right over to another girl and started talking to her.

Sorry ladies, but I am too busy to be dealing with bullshit from you. If you want the dick, you have to earn it. If you’re hot, it doesn’t take very much, but if you’re not willing to play the game with me, I’d rather just crank one out.

Hey Guys,

Psychoanalysis game is something that I have been doing since I first read Magic Bullets back in 2007 after seeing the first episode of Season 1 of VH1′s  ”The Pickup Artist.”  It works very well for me and is the basis of a lot of what I do with regards to boyfriend stealing and general relationship management. As you guys know, I am not a guru or a dating coach, so this may or may not be the best advice in the world for everyone, but I will say that whether or not it works for me cannot be questioned.

One of the first things you learn when people start teaching you game is that “you can’t logic your way into bed with a girl.” I think that this is generally true, but psychoanalysis game attempts to do just that in a way. The human mind is a very interesting thing, and while we perceive that we have “free will” and are in the driver’s seat of our bodies, all the science on decision making seems to suggest otherwise. In fact, every day, as more and more studies are published, they paint a picture of us being spectators rather than players in the game of life. What I mean by this is that our decisions are made for us in lower areas of our brain and are then backwards rationalized in our consciousness. So while you can’t logic a girl into feeling emotions that you want her to feel, you can alter the way she interprets them in the conscious mind. This is where psychoanalysis game comes into play.

First, a word of caution. When used properly, these techniques can be extremely powerful, so as with all technology, just be careful to what ends you are using it for.

There are a million areas in which you can use psychoanalysis game, so I’m not going to even try to name all of them, but basically the jist of it is that you are going to come up with explanations for her behavior that are in line with what you want from her.  This is always a very risky gambit, because if you are way off it will not work. Of course, if in fact your explanation is the reason for her behavior, then obviously you’re golden, but you probably also didn’t need to use psychoanalysis game in the first place. These gambits are effective for that grey area between the definite yes and definite no where you may be able to tip the balance by backwards rationalizing her behavior in your favor.

Let’s talk about an application of psychoanalysis game. Say you’re trying to steal a girl from another guy. You have her attracted to you and you talk to her regularly enough that it would feel weird if she didn’t hear from you for a couple of days. You followed my advice and told her that you like her and want to her to leave the the other guy for you, and that you cannot be her friend anymore if she doesn’t, and then do the dip Freak Nasty style. A week later she calls you and says that she misses you as a friend.

Instead of just saying, “no, I told you I wan’t going to be your friend,” what you do is explain to her that she obviously likes you otherwise she wouldn’t be so upset about losing you as a “friend.” Then you take it a step further and tell her that she obviously isn’t happy in her current relationship or she wouldn’t care if you disappeared from her life. Tell her that her guy is obviously a huge pussy and doesn’t act like a man around her. Describe all of the “nice guy” behavior that you would imagine she’s probably experiencing. Then dip away again. Let it ruminate. If she doesn’t call you back, you’re lost (either she’s really into the guy and you were just wrong, or she’s just not attracted enough to you despite not being into her boyfriend). If she does, reinforce what you said before, and make a logistical play to see her.

The reason that I say this operates in the grey area is because it doesn’t have to actually be the case that she likes you that much that she is going to leave her current situation for you. In fact, it is often the case, particularly with an exceptionally beautiful woman, that she is just not used to being denied in that way and it is throwing her off. Again though, you can rewire this rationalization in her mind as described above. We’re not changing what she’s feeling, just how she interprets what she’s feeling. Once the change in her interpretation has been made, this rationalization will shape her actions going forward. I am not sure how clear or unclear this explanation of psychoanalysis game is, so please let me know if anything needs to be clarified.

Hammer