There are a lot of guys who fantasize about deflowering virgins. They talk about how they want to be her first. About how tight it would be, etc. There’s a word for guys like this: Douchebag. Trying to talk a virgin into having sex with you is pretty much one of the scummiest things you can do. When I am talking to a woman who I am attracted to, and I hear that she is a virgin, I metaphorically run for the hills. Here’s why:

1. Why is she still a virgin?

For her to still be a virgin when I come along is weird. At the age of 22, it’s very possible for a man to just have zero game and never have gotten a chance to lose his virginity. For an attractive woman, however, that is not a realistic possibility. If she is a virgin, maybe she’s just waiting for “that special person.” Maybe she doesn’t plan on losing her virginity until marraige. Maybe she is really shy and freezes up when things escalate. Maybe she’s just afraid of intimacy. 

No matter what the reason, it cannot possibily be something that I find appealing in any way. I want a woman who’s sexually confident, not someone who’s going to want to keep the lights off. I want a woman who has some idea what she’s doing, I’m not interested in training her. I want someone who is sexually adventurous, not someone who will feel weird about dirty talk, swallowing, or public sex.

2. I want her to have been with other men. 

Not just for the experience factor which I’ve already mentioned. I don’t want our first time together to be such a big deal that I’m all of the sudden expected to get into a long term relationship with this girl just because we had sex once. 

On the flipside, I don’t want to be her first because if I do like her and want to have something long term with her, I don’t want her to feel like she hasn’t had enough experiences in her life and that she should go sleep with some more guys before settling down. Every girl at some point in their life fantasizes about being slutty (a fantasy that I have definitely benefitted from on multiple occasions). I want that out of her system.

I also want her to know what she’s giving up by being with me. I don’t want there to be doubt in her mind that I am the best there is. I want her to compare me to every other guy she’s ever been with, because I am confident that I can stack up against the best of them. Other than scumbag, when I hear that someone wants to deflower a virgin, the first thing I think is, “wow, this guys must know that he really sucks in bed because he clearly doesn’t want to be compared to other men.”

If you’re secure in your game and your ability, you should welcome the chance to leave such a strong impression on her that from then on you are the one that she is comparing everyone else to. You should leave her bedroom feeling sorry about the fact that you’ve permanently ruined sex for her because no one else will be able to stack up, and sorry for the other men who will try.